Recently I was attendant at a great and joyful liturgy. Orthodox Kyivans celebrated their 1010 years of being Christians. Despite its being a hot day, many people gathered in a huge crowd. It was stuffy and tight in the crowd although the liturgy took place in the open air. And, as it always happens in a crowd even at work, there were many who desperately needed to move somewhere — to put a candle, to get closer to the confessional, or just to push their way to the communion place. Many people could not bear the direct sun and looked for shade. I personally tried to pass to an improvised altar under a tree because did not want to miss one single word of pastor’s eloquent sermon (this way a journalist can get information very valuable for his paper). Thus, the crowd was constantly moving during the liturgy and people, though unintentionally, disturbed and distracted each other.
Under such circumstances the integrated character and mood of a gathering, and, what is most important, our attitude to our neighbors can be detected in the most vivid and direct way. This is the right place to answer to a basic (for me, at least) question: how does faith in God, the God of charity and forgiveness, as well as our belonging to the Church influence our everyday relationships.
It is pity but my observations show that on the basis of a person’s social behavior it is hard to tell whether this person is a believer and belongs to the Orthodox Church. This was proved also by the general atmosphere at the liturgy that I started our conversation with. There was much irritation and impoliteness: especially from those people who the most frequently attend liturgies and know how to behave in church, i.e., from the most active members of the congregation. The calm and appeasing apologies met some tough contempt and even an animosity. And when there was no room, and people unintentionally would touch each other one could hear even swear words (during a liturgy, between the banners!). If one would had addressed the neighbor with some short question like “Where is the communion here?” he would not have gotten any answer as a rule. A bright and great holiday, a splendid summer day, and closeted faces with no smiles around. It started to seem as if the believers had two faces: one to be shown to the God and the clergy while another to the people among whom they live. What was extremely shocking was the fact than some clerics also behaved the same way. One young seminarian said with quite a loud theatrical whisper to an old bow-legged woman who incidentally stepped over the carpet: “Get your dirty feet off the carpet!” Then he explained to me: “They don’t understand anything else.” Once again it became obvious that the people of the Church are not attuned to the necessary respect to laymen, to common people. No matter whether that person belongs to the Church or not, knows how to behave at a liturgy or not. They do not suppose that even a remark can be made in a polite way with a smile and not hurting anyone.
Such obviously hostile treatment is a usual thing in church. And God forbid a stranger enter it! I know it very well from my own experience, because, despite my Lubny Cossack roots, I have an Eastern type face of a stranger. Thus, it happened to me several times during a liturgy to hear behind my back malicious hissing or even outraged questions.
Most dangerous is the fact that it is Orthodox churches where such a malevolence can be encountered most often. When you enter a Catholic church a person — a layman or a priest — will come to greet you with a smile. It may not be sincere. However, I will say it again that I appreciate much more insincere courtesy than the most sincere vulgarity. Especially that people have invented the politeness not to express their sincerity but to improve and facilitate their interaction. Because in the relationships between people, form is often much more important than content.
Thus, 1010 years proved to be too short term for us to learn how “to love our neighbors” and forgive them such innocent sins as inappropriate behavior in church. Because in many cases the neighbor is not aware of what he or she is doing.






