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Where there is no law, but every man does what is right in his own eyes, there is the least of real liberty
Henry M. Robert

Sins in Our Everyday Lives

17 November, 1998 - 00:00

By Klara GUDZYK, The Day


There are perhaps not many among us whose soul has never ached. By
soul I mean precisely that part of our system which, although still vaguely
defined, promptly responds to all of our sins great and small, whether
we like it or not. Which pains our souls most often? In other words, what
do consider a sin committed most frequently in our everyday lives and not
in theology? The Day conducted a modest poll in Kyiv, and here is
what people had to say.

WOMEN. Most understand such sins as something mirroring their
inherent awareness of life. Proceeding from this notion, most respondents
admitted that abortion was the gravest sin. One of them, mother of two
children now grown, cannot forgive herself an abortion she had some decades
ago. She was young at the time. "I cried a lot afterward, before and after
the abortion, although there seemed nothing I could accuse myself of. It
just happened that way. I had no alternative. Yet my heart bleeds, it's
a wound that has not healed over the years."

Another numerically significant group of female respondents thought
the gravest sin was betraying oneself. Here was a certain type having firm
convictions and a code of ethics all their own, but unable always to live
up to their own standards. These women tended to regard any deviation from
the normal as damaging their own souls.

Still others thought that having to choose between certain possibilities
was sinful: whether to assume responsibility for another person. Energetically
meddling in other people's business or wash one's hands of the matter.
What was more sinful: intellectual passivity or unpardonable activity?

MEN. Getting across to them proved difficult. Apparently the
issue did not bother them much, to put it mildly. Most believed that a
sin was something like the black plague, something that once existed in
other times and places. Unlike our female respondents, they mostly joked
or told some inane stories. One admitted that most of his sinful acts had
to do with his beloved dog.

However, the stronger sex also had representatives with a more substantial
approach to the problem. For example, prospering at others' expense was
a sin, for example like getting a post claimed by someone else. "I wouldn't
feel happy about it even if the other contender were a perfect stranger,
or if I hated his guts," one male respondent said. Another thought that
it is extremely important to remain true to one's friends, and that it
is a very difficult task: "At times you have to do so just to be polite,
as a civil gesture. For example, the man you are talking to badmouths someone
you both know, and you don't contradict him. Somehow you find yourself
nodding or listening in silence. And long after you feel pangs of conscience
and shame." That same respondent believed that the Ten Commandments should
be amended with another one, something like "Thou shalt not betray thy
friend, not even in little things. Thou shalt not keep silent when thy
friend is accused unjustly." (Personally, I could have countered to this
by referring him to the ninth one, reading, "Thou shalt not bear false
witness against thy neighbor.")

Remarkably, not one of the male or female respondents referred to the
Commandment, "Thou shalt not commit adultery," perhaps sincerely believing
that this is no longer a sin these days.

RELIGIOUS. The greatest problem was talking to believers in church.
They would immediately start reciting the Commandments, emphasizing that
killing is the gravest sin. When told that all mortals, believers included,
were guilty of sins, even when perpetrated mentally, by their daily, routine
acts, parishioners would refer to the need to observe church rituals, attend
church regularly, and so on. Almost none would mention loving thy neighbor
or withstanding temptations, albeit far from homicide. Only one of them,
a gray-haired man, offered what sounded like a meaningful statement: "If
you want to live the rest of your days being at peace with your soul, you
must remember to honor thy father and thy mother while they are still alive.
Do not count on repenting afterward, by throwing rich wake parties or putting
up expensive gravestones. This won't work, for it will be a gesture made
too late."

Two final observations: When asked about their sins, people would often
respond by citing those committed by those near and dear to them. Another
remarkable fact: few if any living in this society would list among their
sins the one of failing to comply with one's commitments toward society
or the state, not in so many words. It was as though no such obligations
any longer exist. Except pensioners who seemed to have composed a new Commandment:
"Thou shalt commit a grave sin toward your Lord and fellow humans by not
paying the elderly the pensions they are due."

 

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