Olympics on Olympus
The sports public of this country have not put their sneakers in the corner even during the hardest tests of January’s endless holidays. This month a number of the nation’s leading athletes have tried out several new sports, which seem not to have achieved mass popularity, fortunately, but they did raise quite some commotion.
Cassetteball
This team sport promises the winner numerous dividends. The field is usually a spacious office room of a highly placed individual. One team, the truth-seekers, tries to kick a switched-on digital tape recorder lying on a parquet floor under a plush divan or armchair. Their opponents, the bodyguards, try to prevent them. Should the former win, one of the players comes back to the field to extract the obtained audio-recording from the smart gadget. This is followed by freebie travel abroad, and the bold fellow can be sure he will live without trouble until old age.
Political Orienteering
This also requires teamwork. A group of athletes with an orienteering compass find the central square of a city. There, they pitch camping tents in a matter of seconds and unfold anti-presidential slogans. Later, the demonstrators’ opponents try to convince them, by means of a good word and hobnailed boots, that their political orientation is wrong. Like any other contact sport, this one is characterized by a high rate of injuries.
Implementation Steeplechase
This one is very simple. A nationally elected athlete runs away from the furious voters dissatisfied with the runner’s indifference to the results of their voting. In so doing, he has to clear various hurdles placed in his path by the Constitution, the President, and common sense.
Free-Style Wrestling for an Armchair
This sport uses the old tradition of never leaving a well-adjusted cushy chair of one’s own free will. Let journalists clamor and prosecutors frown. Let them suspect you of smuggling, bribery, and tax evasion. You just smile into the camera lens, keep saying this is all nonsense, and, above all, hold on tight to the beloved piece of furniture. Some athletes get so overwhelmed with the competitive spirit that only the personal intervention of Juan Antonio Samaranch, head of the Olympic movement, can rip them out of the chair.
