Axe for the Mayor

The barbarous ruination of the aesthetic image and illegal destruction of historical monuments in Ukraine’s capital not only lacerate the hearts of Kyivans but also call forth protests from the conscious public throughout Ukraine. These changes also draw the attention of the guests of our city who cannot forgive “what has been done to Khreshchatyk,” not to mention St. Sophia Cathedral, Kyiv Pechersk Monastery of the Caves, the reserved Dnipro slopes, chopped down parks, etc. Their gradual demolition brings forth natural and fair protest. Recently the active Kyiv public has held hearings on the issue, Problems of Building and Preserving Kyiv’s Architectural Environment. People’s deputies, experts, and high rank officials from the city administration were invited. Surprisingly, the officials came, listened, and even made speeches. A resolution was adopted calling for a halt to architectural arbitrariness. What next? In fact, nothing: everybody remains in their places, proceeding with their excavations in one of Europe’s most beautiful cities.

Another step from the champions of historical environment was an action that took place recently near the Kyiv City Administration building. It was of a comic character and no official records were kept. The organizers were the Club for Aesthetic Disobedience and Public Collegium. The invitations called for “city patriots with a sense of humor” to come to City Hall for a “solemn satirical ceremony of presenting an award for the ugliest work in the modern art of city planning.”

A stand displaying numerous articles from various outlets on construction vandalism called forth unprecedented public enthusiasm. But the culmination of the show was the awards ceremony itself. The Winged Mayor statue, a parody of the ill-famed column in Maidan Nezalezhnosti (a green and gold woman, perhaps symbolizing the profession of the pulchritude walking the street below, mounted on an oversized phallic symbol — Ed.), was awarded the eight fathers of this masterpiece. The ceremony was held with appropriate solemnity. The alate specimen of teratology was symbolically (since the heroes of the day courageously failed to appear onstage) presented by CAD President Les Podervyansky. The artist had returned from Munich the day before and called on the audience not to believe all the talk about Europe: “Europe is something completely different.” Renowned architect, Professor Larysa Skoryk quoted statistics indicating that over 98% of all Kyivans believe the contemporary maiden of the Maidan to be a true triumph of tastelessness.

A stone axe was also awarded personally to Kyiv Mayor Oleksandr Omelchenko for assiduousness in the clear-cutting of Kyiv parks. The idea was that an axe is at least slower than a chainsaw. The laureate, however, was also absent. This fall the club plans to present the Herostratus of the Year award. Nominations are still being accepted.