Little Man

At times relationships between children and adults appear unattractive. Of course, some parents recognize their children as individuals, respecting their dignity, but this is the exception, not the rule, in our society. In this sense we are somewhere in medieval serfdom, with parents acting as omnipotent feudal lords and children as their humble servants denied the right to follow their predilections, enjoy their leisure, or take up a favorite pastime. A small child sits on the seacoast, totally engrossed in building something like a mosaic version of a fish in colorful pebbles. Finally there is only the tail to finish, but at this very moment his mother calls out. Time to go. The boy is so busy he hardly hears his mother and she raises her voice, then jumps to her feet, comes over irritably and grabs him by the arm. In doing so she steps on the fish and ruins a couple of hours' work. Or maybe without knowing it she ruins her son's future? The boy is desperate. He bends down, picking pebbles, trying to restore the image. No use. He is ordered to come along. Now! He obeys. How can a serf disobey his master?

An express indicator of any given family's moral priorities is the way its children play among themselves and with friends.

Several boys and girls aged 10-12 were playing hide and seek in a large park. They hid behind trees, jumped down from big boulders. One of them jumped over a fence, but landed awkwardly, flat on his stomach. He just lay there, unable to get up it hurt so badly. His friends just ran up, jumping over him. Not one of them, boy or girl, stopped to ask if he was all right and offer help. They raced over and away like little predators hot on the track of their prey.

Several boys in their teens boarded a Crimean trolley, well built, laughing and cheering. The last to board was a boy with a handsome but sad face. It was some time before he climbed the steps, because he was on crutches, his left leg cut off above the knee. And he had a knapsack. Inside he stood away from the rest of the boys and none of them paid any attention, although one of them looked very much like him, apparently his younger brother (again one is reminded of wild animals that instinctively avoid contact with sick members of the pack). When their stop came he was again the last one to get off and no one offered to take his knapsack or help him down the steps. Such pathological indifference can only come from the family, an atmosphere that surrounds one from one's birth. It is easy to imagine how these teenagers "help" their ailing relatives, grandmothers, or younger brothers and sisters. Growing up, sons and daughters seldom notice that their mother looks sick and should lie down instead of going to work or about household chores. Perhaps because inculcating simple human sympathy in children is not part of their parent's program. And family moral dictates often boil down to working hard to earn enough to keep the youngsters fed and dressed, educated, and ultimately helped to get good jobs.

No one has the right to generalize observations such as the one described above. Yet the fact remains that we tend to pay more attention to negative phenomena, something seen outwardly. Perhaps because positive phenomena are considered normal and negative ones a deviation. One thing seems certain: that cruelty which often clouds human relationships is more often than not cultivated by us ourselves.